February 20, 2016

From the Most Wonderful Sister in the World

It's been a while since I've written anything, so my brain is full to the fucking brim of thoughts I need to get out. Last week was 6 months since Jason died, which my brain has not absorbed. Hell, I still haven't absorbed the fact that Amir is gone and I've had 14 months for that to sink in. What the fuck?

I spent part of my afternoon going through old letters and cards, having recently bought a new scanner to take another step in preserving them (other than keeping them sealed in plastic, inside a box). It's so heart-wrenching to read these things now, because it only reminds me how fucking brilliant a writer Amir was. Where his cards and letters were sarcastic and funny, Jason's were romantic and lovely. Both of them were witty and brilliant beyond compare.

For today, I'm not going to share Amir's brilliance. I'm going to share his sweetness, as evidenced by this birthday card he made for me (in pencil) when I turned 13. He was 8.

He was so fucking cute.

(With apologies to Yael.)


  1. Ayelet, I've been meaning to contact you ever since I heard about Amir's passing. I'm sorry I didn't write sooner. I felt like I didn't know what to say. Then, in October, my husband died. Now I realize that just saying something, just acknowledging it, helps. So: I am so, so sorry. Amir was one-of-a-kind, a bright and shining star in this world. I check in here often, and it makes me simultaneously happy and sad. Happy to remember amazing Amir; sad that he is gone. And then you've lost Jason, too. I know that life isn't fair, but seriously??!!! Come on, universe. I think of you often and send out good vibes, for whatever that is worth. I have a photo a photo of Amir that I would like to send to you, via post or e-mail. Let me know how I can get in touch. Truly, Amanda

    1. Hi Amanda. Thanks so much for reaching out. I'm very sorry to hear about your husband. As you said, "Come on, universe!" It sounds like you and I have a lot to talk about.

      My email is aprizant [at] gmail. I'd love to see that photo of Amir (or anything else you have of him that you'd like to share).

      All the best to you!